– We need 15 pages for Chapter One. You have 11.5 They are very picky about
this see comments about adding theory here
– Maybe ditch the hypotheses and add in how each of the dep variables will be
measured ie
1. How do socioeconomic factors affect retention? as measured by…??? how will you measure
retention? (teacher perception?)
– summary needs to cover each topic heading in C1 >>> background, RQs, theoretical
background, limitations etc
– Would greatly help readability to chunk topic headings in C2 in to the 3 major
>>> intro in order to do study must understand major topics 1, 2 and 3 …
> topic 1
>topic 2
> topic 3
> Summary of major topics 1, 2 and 3 …
– would like to see a bit more synthesis of what is know about topics and their
interactivity if possible in summary
– Chapter is written in past tense should be future tense since we are at proposal stage
– Early in chapter we need to repeat the logic for and lit review support leading to the
– You have 8+ pages on theory and justification which is unusual in chapter 3. I’m
wondering if some of this couldn’t go into the end of chapter 1 or even chapter 2. We
need more room in chapter 3 to get very specific about the subjects, procedures, and
analysis. The rule of thumb is having enough detail that someone else could take your
study and do it themselves. we are not there yet.
Please have a look at the template from Dissertation Success below
– we need all those topic headings with significant details in c3 with explanation of why
– what is your method = qual survey convenience sample and why
– population = teachers. and why
– process to collect data. and why
– human subjects protection
– need to discuss how survey was constructed
if just you will need to be validated by experts

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